Love vs. Apology...

 Love means always being willing to say you're sorry.

                                                  -Martha Beck, The Oprah Magazine-



Courtesy of Google


I read about an interesting article that can help spark your relationships with someone, be the person your other half, friends, relatives et cetera, entitled "Always Apologize, Always Explain" by Martha Beck here. The article is a good one. It tells us why we need to apologize and when is the best time to apologize which is "...the moment you realize you've done something wrong" (p2).

There are 4 ways of apologizing:
"1. Full acknowledgment of the offense.
 2. An explanation
 3. Genuine expression of remorse.
 4. Reparations for damage." (p3).

When we have asked for an apology (really mean it), we should feel good about ourselves because Lazare describes an apology as, "an act of honesty, an act of humility, an act of commitment, an act of generosity, and an act of courage."  and Anne Lamott refers to it as "giving up all hope of having had a different past." (p4).

If you want to know more, read this. I remember the old English adage: Let bygones be bygones which means to forget something bad that someone has done to you and forgive him/her.

But what if you can forgive and can never forget, or you can forgive but when the matter is mentioned again, you keep on remembering...?
    


Courtesy of Google

 

Little Things

Little drop of water,
Little grain of sand,
Make the mighty ocean
And the beauteous land.

And the little moments,
Humble though they be,
Make the mighty ages
Of eternity.

So our little errors
Lead the soul away,
From paths of virtue
Into sin to stray.

Little deeds of kindness,
Little words of love,
Make our earth an Eden,
Like the heaven above.

Julia Fletcher Carney
1824-1908, b. USA

Courtesy Google

This poem emphasizes the value of things; though small, the importance and usefulness of those little things are worth living for. I felt compelled to pledge to people to stop the destruction done to the world and the people living in it. We should not spark hatred and shame others just because we are not sharing the same principle. It saddens me to see that we experience that in Malaysia.

Stop polluting the environment, stop polluting the mind of the people, stop destructing the trust that our forefathers had built before. Please respect each other and show our children the correct way to lead the country. If this is not stopped, the country would not prosper and would still hold the title developed country. There goes the 'negara maju' status...

Smile

Smiley picture courtesy of homepagedaily.com

A friend emailed this story to me years ago. I can't remember the date but the story really touched my heart. I saved it on my computer. Today, I attended a workshop at Nottingham University in Semenyih. The facillitator's way of handling the workshop and rapport with the course participants were commendable. He showed us ways to solve our academic problems by thinking out of the box. And tonight, after pondering on what I'd learned back at the workshop, I remembered this story.

I'm posting this story because it's such a heart-warming, inspirational story which makes me cry everytime I read it.

A Return is requested...You'll see why.
Breakfast at McDonald's.

 

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile.' The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.

We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did. I did not move an inch... An overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible 'dirty body' smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was 'smiling'. His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance.

He said, “Good day” as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.

The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.

I held my tears as I stood there with them.

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, “Coffee is all Miss”, because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).

Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action. I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand.

He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, “Thank you.” I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, “I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.”

I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, “That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope.”  We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give. We are not church goers, but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand. I turned in 'my project' and the instructor read it. Then she looked up at me and said, “Can I share this?'”

I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.

She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed. In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son, the instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.

I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:

UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.

Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to

LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS -
NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.

There are sayings:

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

To handle yourself, use your head.
To handle others, use your heart.

 

**How I wish everybody in this world to react this way. This world would be a peaceful place to live in with all the loving hearts around. There'd be no war, no hatred, no all the negative actions and feelings that we could think of. World Peace!